View From 522: Steelers vs. Eagles

Since Gretz is a season-ticket holder, he’s going to take a look at the debauchery and insanity that takes place in the Heinz Field stands after every home game he attends.

– The NHL has a rule that says you’re not allowed to return to your seat until there is a stoppage in play.

It’s a great rule because you know you don’t have to worry about missing a play while somebody crawls over you, or stands up in front of you, while the game is going on. There is no such rule in the NFL, and it seems that the ushers at Heinz Field actually want you to disrupt the sightlines of other paying customers while play is going on.

Early in the second quarter I had to get rid of my two pregame beers and a 20 oz. bottle of water, and before returning to my seat, decided to wait on the walkway just below the stairs that lead to our section until the end of the current possession (it was already third down). I couldn’t have been there for more than a minute until the Heinz Field version of Barney Fife on a power trip walked up to me and informed me that I would need to return my seat immediately and that I wasn’t allowed to hang out there. After telling him that I was waiting for a stoppage in play — as I’ve done for every game I’ve previously attended at Heinz Field over the past 10 years, as well as every hockey and baseball game — so I wouldn’t disrupt the other people in my row and in my section, he repeated his comment — louder — and walked away before I could respond.

– At one point in the second quarter two girls down in front of us managed to take the game in a potentially interesting direction when the unmistakeable aroma of marijuana started to make its presence felt for a brief period of time. I’m not sure who does that at a football game, but I can say it’s probably only the second time I’ve noticed it at a game (though, there was one game a few years ago that mom and dad were attending where a fan behind them dropped his joint down through the seats).

I believe this was all happening around the time Troy Polamalu intercepted Michael Vick, which is fitting because every time Polamalu intercepts a pass the Heinz Field gameday staff plays Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix.

Add in a big mud pit, Jefferson Airplane and some naked people and it would have been a good old fashioned Woodstock experience. I guess the mud pit will be back in November, so we’ll just need Jefferson Airplane and the naked people. Don’t worry, just so they’re not standing in the wrong walkway the security staff won’t hassle them.

– Before the game there was an Eagles fan in one of the bathrooms wearing a Randall Cunningham jersey and yelling to nobody in particular that “Chuck Bednarik could kick Joe Greene’s ass.”

You know what? He’s probably not wrong. Just watch a few seconds of this…

– I’m going to take a picture of every Daniel Sepulveda jersey that I see this season. Here’s one from Thursday:

And speaking of jersey’s. Wow. We saw this one before the game in the stadium and spent five minutes trying to figure out who wore No. 13 for Ohio State before finally realizing it was perhaps the most infamous Ohio State football player of all time, Maurice Clarrett.

My goodness, talk about timing on this one.

– I guess there was a football game, too, and I already shared a lot of my thoughts on the Podcast, but it was a nice showing by the starters and backups, especially some of the young corners like Keenan Lewis and Donovan Warren.

Antonio Brown continues to be a beast, and I’m pretty sure Asante Samuel is still trying to figure out where he went on that touchdown pass in the first quarter.

Still, it’s a preseason game and just so nobody gets hurt, the night is a success no matter what the score is.

– At halftime they had youth football, and on one of the first plays some kid managed to pull off the Polamalu leap by perfectly timing the snap, jumping over the line and getting a sack. He even had long hair flowing out from the back of his helmet. I was hoping some parent or random fan that happened to be filming it would have uploaded it to YouTube, but no dice. He received a pretty nice ovation from the crowd, and that kid had to be freakin’ pumped to pull that off at Heinz Field.

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